Sorry's Aren't Meaningless
by A. Zap
Summary: Catra hadn't known that She-ra could scar. Or at least, that Adora could get scars from She-ra's wounds. But there they were upon her back. And before she realizes it, the words are tumbling from her mouth. "I'm sorry." Femslash February Day 5: Forgiveness


Catra wasn't exactly sure what she and Adora were now.

Once upon a time, she had thought that she could call Adora her friend. Her best, and really only, friend. Then Adora had left her. In her pain and rage, the two of them had become enemies in practically no time at all. Then, for her at least, she had continued to play the role of She-ra's enemy and main threat as she made her own plans in regards to the Horde.

And now?

Now that she, along with Scorpia and Entrapta, led her own army of Horde traitors, now that they mostly did their own thing but were allied with the princesses, now that they were technically on the same side _against _the Horde…

She just didn't know.

Sure, they sort of apologized for what had happened before, hashed things out as it were, but Catra didn't really know if Adora truly _got_ what had upset her the most about the whole thing.

At the very least, Catra knew that she and Adora were in a good enough place that she could be laying here, on her bed of all things, and having a decent conversation.

"No, seriously," Adora pounded her fists on the bed, "exactly how long have Kyle and Rogelio been a thing?"

Catra snorted, rolling her eyes. "They've been together for _years_. I mean, I thought it was obvious given Rogelio is the only one to never complain about him."

Adora narrowed her eyes at Catra. "Rogelio _talks_?"

Catra couldn't help but laugh at that. "Yeah, he does. Not much, but yeah."

"Ugh," Adora groaned and stretched forward to slump across the bed. "How did I never notice?"

Adora had never noticed a lot of things, but Catra was not about to bring that up again.

"Who knows?" She certainly didn't. It had turned out that Catra had made a lot of assumptions when it came to Adora's observation skills.

"Wait, don't tell me that - " Adora broke off as she caught sight of the time piece on the wall and gasped. "Dammit! I'm late!" She sprung up and raced over to the closet, pulling out what she needed for the day.

"Oh, right, Shimmer's aunt or whatever is coming to meet you and the Queen." Catra wrinkled her nose. These other spellcasters might be "good" and "on their side," but Catra quite frankly had had enough of spellcasters with Shadow Weaver. And considering that she apparently used to be in charge of their order…

Yeah, Catra was glad she wasn't required for this meeting.

"Oh, don't be like that. Castaspella's nice!" The muffled voice and rustling sound told Catra that Adora was in the middle of changing.

Catra snorted again and turned towards her regardless. After all, it wasn't anything she hadn't seen before. "Oh, really? You used to think that Sha-" Catra's mouth clicked shut as she took in the sight of Adora's back.

More specifically, the distinct eight lines running down her back.

The ones that she had put there.

She could still remember it like yesterday. Catra had recently learned how to use all her pain, her rage, her sadness and channel it. She had used it as fuel for completing her plans in a strategic and (well for her) calm manner, and she no longer let it control her and make her lash out wildly. She had finally been growing beyond that, finally showing her true potential once she was no longer in Adora's shadow. And Catra's methods that had always gotten her punishments and scolding in training, as in watching her opponent, analyzing them, and then striking at the most opportune moment at their weak points to bring them down, turned out to be exactly what the Horde needed.

As Catra distracted She-ra, drew her away from the main fight, she also had used her claws to their full extent for the first time in one of their fights. And when the moment came, maybe it was petty of her, but she had wanted She-ra, Adora, to fully feel the impact of turning her back on her. She had wanted to make her pay.

But she never thought that it would have scarred.

It hadn't been the first time she had scratched She-ra. It hadn't been the worst injury Catra had seen She-ra receive during battle. However, she had never seen an injury remain on She-ra. When Adora returned to herself, the wounds would be gone or were at an easily healable level. She may be tired and fatigued, but she was mostly whole.

But this?

"I'm sorry."

The words were out of her mouth before she even registered it.

Catra's eyes drifted up to meet Adora's as the other girl turned around to face her while slipping her shirt on. Even when she couldn't see them, the marks were burned into her eyelids.

"You're sorry? For what?" Adora's face scrunched up the way it always did when she was confused. Then her face cleared in shocked realization. "Oh, stars, Catra, if you left another dead animal as an offering for Queen Angella, I've told you, she does not appreciate it as - "

"No, not that." She tries to do something nice _one time_, and everyone gives her grief over it. So what if the kitchens had plenty of food and ways to get it? Every little bit helped in the Horde.

Catra glanced towards Adora's side. If her shirt had been off and she had stood at an angle, Catra would've been able to see them again.

"Then what?" Adora appeared confused again.

Catra couldn't meet her eyes any longer. "I didn't know She-ra could scar."

A beat of silence.

"Oh."

Another moment.

"_Oh_."

Catra looked up at her to see Adora blinking in surprise. Unbidden, Adora reached back to almost graze the wound's remnants before dropping her hand.

"Catra, it's - " She pursed her lips, obviously searching for the right words. "We were enemies. It happens."

"And yet She-ra never seems to get any scars from her other wounds." Catra pointed out, unsure why she was digging her own grave.

Adora wouldn't look at her anymore. "Well, maybe it's because it hurt _me_." She quietly admitted.

Was it wrong that some deep part of her that _still_ smarted over Adora leaving her felt satisfied by that?

Luckily, it was not the strongest emotion Catra was currently feeling.

"I wanted to." Catra admitted in response to Adora's honesty. "It wasn't just because we were enemies, or because we were fighting. I wanted you to hurt just as much as you hurt me, and the only way it looked like I was gonna get that was by attacking you."

At the time, all she had thought about was how many times she'd been punished for not measuring up to Adora. How many times she'd been punished because _Adora_ hadn't met their expectations so of course it had been her fault. How much pain and agony she'd been put through but endured because she at least had Adora by her side.

How Adora immediately turning away and leaving her upon realizing what the Horde was bad, without even asking Catra to join her until it was way too late, had hurt more than any of that.

Still.

That was an explanation, not an excuse.

"But I was wrong. I shouldn't have done that; that wound at least was just me being petty." Catra said, turning away so she wouldn't have to see the way Adora's face was certainly crumbling at the confession. "So I'm sorry."

Catra meant what she said, but she had learned long ago that sorry's were meaningless. They didn't actually do anything, even if she screamed the words. Most of her wasn't even sure why she was bothering to say it. All of this had long since passed anyway.

The part of her that had slowly been getting louder, saying that things were different now, was the only part of her that wasn't surprised when she felt arms suddenly surround her.

Adora held her closely, her face tucking into the dip between Catra's head and shoulder as she practically nuzzled her. "I forgive you."

Catra's breath hitched and she stilled. She felt something inside of herself begin to unwind and fade away. Suddenly, she felt so much lighter, like she never had before, and she found herself relaxing into Adora's embrace.

Oh.

_Oh._

So this is why people said sorry.

Catra closed her eyes and just let herself have this for a moment.

Then…

"Don't you have a meeting to get to?"

"Crap!"

* * *

_AN: So in my fic Tattooed Mistakes, I mentioned that Catra had noticed that Adora had scars from when she raked her claws over She-ra's back (another headcanon of mine) and had apologized. I decided to expand on that for today's prompt. Also, in this fic, they're not really together together yet but in some weird in-between of getting used to no longer being enemies, sort of being friends, and feeling like they want to be more or even closer but having no clue what that means._


End file.
